What is it Like to be Coached by You? A Quick Self-Reflection

01 · Reputation and character

Reputation and character. They sound similar but they aren't.

Reputation lives partly in other people's minds. Character is expressed through the choices you make.

REPUTATION THINKING“Did they think I knew what I was doing?”

VS

CHARACTER THINKING“How did I respond when I wasn't sure?”

Which of these can you control?

An athlete liking youNot fully Another coach agreeing with youNot fully How you respond when challengedYes Whether you give someone your full attentionYes Whether you make someone feel foolish for asking a questionYes

You can influence reputation, but you cannot control it.
Your behaviour is different. That is yours to choose.

02 · Build your coaching compass

How do you want athletes to experience you?

Choose three. Not the qualities that sound most impressive. Choose the ones you want to be visible in your behaviour.

CuriousI ask before assuming. KindI don't make another person the punchline. CourageousI am willing to try something that might not work. GenerousI give credit freely. SafeAthletes can tell me they are struggling or disagree. HumbleI can say, “I don't know.”

Choose three.

03 · Put it under pressure

Character becomes useful when things don't go to plan.

COACHING SCENARIO

You introduce a new drill. It doesn't work particularly well. Afterwards, another coach tells you they wouldn't have done it that way.

Where does your mind go first?

“They must think I have no idea what I'm doing.” “They weren't coaching the session. They don't understand why I did it.” “What can I learn here, and how do I want to respond?”

04 · The harder test

Who are you when the moment is small?

Values are easy when everything is going well. Tap each moment to reveal the question underneath it.

A developing coach asks an obvious question.

Do you demonstrate your knowledge, or help them feel comfortable enough to ask the next one?

An athlete repeats a mistake you've corrected many times.

What would patience look like here, without lowering your standards?

A colleague presents an idea you think is terrible.

Can you challenge the idea without making the person feel small?

The person you're frustrated with isn't in the room.

Would you be comfortable with them hearing the way you speak about them?

05 · Make it observable

Values only matter when they become behaviour.

A word such as “kind” or “courageous” is an intention. What would an athlete actually see you do?

I want people I coach to experience me as...

When I'm under pressure, I want to remember...

One behaviour I can practise in my next session is...

Build my coaching compass

Your coaching compass

The coach you want people to experience.

Choose three qualities above

REPUTATION ASKS“Am I being approved of?”

CHARACTER ASKS“Am I behaving like the person I want to become?”

You cannot completely control the first. You get to practise the second every day.

Reflection is not about being perfect. It is about noticing, choosing and practising.